Comcast-Pitchforks and Torches

So I really have enjoyed my Comcast service. But alas some relationships are just destined to fail. And the stars aligned today to make it end very very poorly.
George and I have been trying to streamline our finances lately in an effort to prepared to expand our family (someday-not that soon though!). So to that end George called Comcast yesterday to try and figure out how to lower our bill. They gave us a promo package that actually lowered our bill by $50 a month and UPGRADED our internet speed. In order to implement the faster service we had to go pick up a new modem. So today we ran a few errands and stopped by the Comcast building downtown to exchange it.

When walked up to the building there was a huge sign the said ‘FOR ALL EQUIPEMENT RETURNS AND EXCHANGES PLEASE FOLLOW THE ARROWS’. So we followed the signs to another building that turned out to be quite a far away. However, when we get there the lady in that building said ‘Oh yes we exchange all the equipment OTHER than that.” So now I am little annoyed but the woman offers to walk us over to other building where we started and get us served ahead of everyone else, since it is such a quick change out, for the inconvenience, which was very nice. So we walk all the way back over and I was really grateful she did come with us as the line was a little out of control.

We stood off to the side for a while until an agent became available. A few seconds after the woman began helping us another customer walked over. She was an older lady with her hair in curlers wrapped in a scarf. She started yelling at us in a thick Brooklyn accent “Yous guys in cames in after all of us! What makes you so f$%# special that you get served first?! We were all here first and we all think this is bulls!$%!” I was so shocked I blanked for a second. Then I look over and see all the other people in line nodding and/or yelling at us! Then the woman starts yelling “I have a spinal problem and I don’t need to be standing all day just for you to come in thinking you should get special treatment over me you brats!” Finally the women who walked us over says ‘I work here ma’am it is ok.” Like this is going to make it all better. She then tries to explain over this woman yelling that this is a quick change out and it will only be a moment. “I have a spinal problem and these little sh!*^ just walk in like they own the f%^$#@! place!” And she is just enraging everyone else over in the line and I have this image of these people chasing us down with pitchforks and torches. Finally I jump in because I have had just about enough of being publicly humiliated. Plus if I did not say something I knew George was going to and trust me…you would rather have me yell at you rather than get George mad enough to yell. So I said “Excuse me, I am not here for service issues, I am here for an equipment exchange. This should be done at the other building but because Comcast is stupid I had to come over here. They have another location for equipment to make it faster, but since we had to come over here they are letting us jump the line for 30 seconds. I understand you are in pain. But I did not make it so that there are only two people working 7 desks. If you wanna yell, yell at them.” She looked a little stunned and then said “Well we are all pretty upset that you think you are special but I understand why you would take advantage of system and make a cripple person be in pain longer.” Ok so now I had enough of trying to act like a lady and calm this woman down. “F#!^ you.” I said and turned around. So she just stormed off. Then I look back over and I see the guy in line in front of her talking and I hear him say “Well that was not their fault these people can’t get their business straight. Did you really have to curse at them and call them names first? You were kind of asking for it.” I could have kissed him. So she starts yelling at him about her back and crying. Then a young woman walks in and tells her to go wait in the car and she will wait in line for her and will call her on her cell phone when she gets to the front (I guess this is her daughter.) And all I could think was WHY DID THIS GIRL NOT WAIT IN HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE IF THIS IS SUCH A FREAKING ISSUE?! So the woman storms out and took her curlers with her. And oh by the way, while this has all occurred this woman is now 2nd in line and when we walked in she was 7th. So calm down Brooklyn Brawler.
Then I focus my attention back to the woman behind the counter who is telling us that this modem is the exact same one we have. So I ask if the one we have was working fine then what are we doing here? She looks at me like I am idiot and says “I have no idea.” So George argues with her saying we should be getting something different since our internet has been upgraded. She looks at George like is he retarded and says “No you are exchanging this because it was broken right?” I finally looked at George and told him I had to wait in the car or my head was going to explode.

When George came out a few minutes later and I thought flames were going to shoot out of his ears he was so mad. We left with the same modem we came with. When we got home I called Comcast to try and figure out if there is another piece of equipment we need or if the guy on the phone sent us down there for no flipping reason. I get a rep on the line and when I explain the issue to him and he flat out tells me “well I am not versed in how our products work so I am going to have to get you over to technical support.” Wow. I would die if I heard one of my reps say “I really do not know anything about or products so let me get you to someone else.” Then he transfers me back to the BEGINNING of the automated system. He does not transfer me to tech support directly. He transferred me back to fight AGAIN through the automated system to talk to someone. Grrrr!

I FINALLY talked to a person with a brain that was still communicating with their mouth. She informed me that the person who set up the work order set it up wrong and we need to go BACK to the service center to get the right modem. I flipped out and told the lady the whole ordeal. She was really sweet and offered me a credit which was nice. So now we have to go back. Let’s see if we actually get attacked physically this time!

So George and I called Direct TV and got a really great deal with them to lower our bill even more and get more services. So I call back to cancel Comcast. The woman asks me why I want to cancel and I tell her how horrified I am with the service that I have received today. I tell her the whole story and she pauses and says “Well why did you not just go through the line and avoid all of this ma’am? Does not sound like our fault you got yelled at.”

So to recap we walked all over creation, got yelled at by other customers because Comcast cannot deal with them in a timely manner, got talked to like we were retarded children, had to fight with the automated system, talk to stupid reps, and still are in the same place we started out this morning with the SAME MODEM WE HAD! Thus concludes our relationship with Comcast.